


So PG-13

by Waxa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Crazy Stupid Love plotline, F/F, Featuring, Fine Stud Clarke, Fluffyfest, PG-13 Lexa, To end the year with a bang, but it's so fluffy i could die, feelings so much feelings, or so Lexa says, they don't, yeah they're going to bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waxa/pseuds/Waxa
Summary: Clarke Griffin, a player who beds different women and men each night, has the life, but something is missing.Lexa Woods, a recent law school graduate, is expecting her life to be more than just PG-13.They will be what the other wants.Based on the brilliant movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.





	So PG-13

The urge to roll her eyes is pressing but she’s trying with all her might not to do so. Anya brings out the best and worst from her and tonight's no exception. She brings the glass of whiskey towards her lips to cover up her disapproving pout but it’s too late when Anya keeps on teasing her.

“I love him and given the opportunity, I'd have his babies and I know you would too.” Anya teases. Even though they’re full on lesbians -you know all year long pride parade going around- Anya couldn’t help but find him worthy of her downgrade to men, and so did Lexa it seems. 

Lexa rolls her eyes this time and picks up her phone to see if her sort of girlfriend has texted her.

She hasn’t.

“That was ages ago and it took me by surprise.” She’s talking about the dream she had about him. She shudders at the memory. She realizes now that she shouldn’t have told her sister about it but she was 16 and even if she was no longer confused about her sexuality, she was confused as to why she had that particular dream. Anya never let her forget.

But that wasn’t the issue here, the issue is Costia. “I'm just saying, Costia is a lot of things, successful, smart-“ 

“Boring, workaholic, sexually repressed, bitch-“

“But she's not very funny, that's all.” And that’s a big issue for Lexa, and her sister knows it. In all honesty, Lexa doesn’t know why she’s with Costia when they don’t have that much in common. Costia doesn’t like to laugh and Lexa, well she doesn’t really know Costia and the redhead doesn’t really know her. 

“You know what you really need?” 

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“You need a good lay,” Anya isn’t wrong but she supposes it’s Costia who she should be bedding, after all, last time she checked they were sort of something.

With Costia she never knows.

“Go get yourself some of that.” Anya motions with her head towards the blonde bombshell that was sitting at the bar, casually eating and drinking the most expensive thing on the menu.

Lexa knows this because she ordered the same.

The blonde was alone but not for long given her assets were showing in that red dress. She certainly was coveted by everyone at the bar and would have anyone in a matter of seconds (Lexa and maybe Anya included), but Lexa couldn’t get someone like her even if she tried. Lexa turns away and stares at Anya like she has grown two heads but then can’t help but look back before asking who and pretending that she didn't see the blonde. 

“The hot piece that's been checking you out for the last hour.” Just as Anya says it, the blonde turns towards them and tilts her glass at them, toasting. Lexa hides her blush behind the glass and it makes Anya sigh. “I don't know, Lexa. Your life is just so... PG-13.”

Lexa's mouth drops open. “My life is not PG-13!” How dare she say that? Isn’t she supposed to be happy that her little sister has a tame life?

Ok, even if it is a tame life she won’t give Anya the satisfaction of admitting it

“It so is. You've never left New York. You pass the bar you're gonna be a criminal lawyer, probably married to that snooze-fest Costia. I just worry about you is all. Hell, you've resorted to fantasizing about Ryan Gosling.”

Lexa shrugs because, ok it happened again, that’s why Anya was teasing her about it once anew. “He's funny.”

“He looks like a Muppet.”

“He does not!” The laugh she lets out it’s a genuine one and she doesn’t care that she has attracted many heads towards them.

“Who looks like a Muppet?” Lexa frowns because she doesn't recognize the source of the voice. They turn and it's the bombshell from earlier and she doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing and waits for it to play out.

“Hi,” Anya greets her with joy,  which was surprising because if it were any other day, any other person she would’ve glared and they would’ve already walked away.

“Hi! So, who looks like a Muppet?” The blonde asks again with a smile hoping to hear an answer.

One that Lexa doesn’t want to give.

“Ryan Gosling. My sister Lexa thinks he's sexy and she’s a lesbian.” The blonde smiles at that but then it turns into a smirk and Lexa doesn’t like it one bit.

Or, maybe she does.

“I think your sister Lexa is sexy.”

Lexa groans. “Oh my god. You didn't really just say that.”

“Pretty sure I did.”

“How old are you?” Lexa hopes she’s at least twenty five although she seems just shy of 18 after that line.

“What are you, a lawyer?” The blonde teasing falls flat because yes, she is, and her face shows it.

“Yeah.” Lexa nods seriously.

The blonde seems shocked and it gives her a reason to be smug this time. “Come on.”

“I know.”

“You are? Is she?” The blue eyed woman asks her sister who’s watching the interaction with rapt attention and amusement.

“She’s going to be.”

“So how old are you?” Lexa asks again.

“I’m going to turn 30 in a few months.”

“Don't you think you're a little old to use cheesy pickup lines?” Lexa raises her eyebrow and she can see the years in the deep laughing lines in the blonde’s face.

She wants to make her smile to keep seeing them.

“Objection. Leading the witness.” Even though that is certainly clever Lexa doesn’t laugh just rolls her eyes. She always hated when people would make jokes at her career expense but it doesn’t make her feel anything when it comes from the blonde, just a tiny speck of warmth.

“You're wearing that like you're doing it a favor.”

Ok, she regrets it immediately. She’s not feeling anything for that ridiculous blonde. “Oh, God.”

“That's a line.” She says matter of fact and Lexa can’t be anything but interested In what she has to say. “You know what it’s not a line. It’s a fact. And I find you incredibly sexy. That’s another fact, not a cheesy pick-up line. There are many attractive women in this bar -- including your sister and I've been unable to take my eyes off you, only you, for the past two hours. Again, not a cheesy pick-up line, just a fact. Answer this quickly, without thinking about your answer, do you find me attractive?”

Before Lexa can absolutely, most certainly lie and deny those allegations Anya confirms it for her. “She does.”

She glares at her sister and goes even as far as kick her under the table. “I don't.”

“You do.” The blonde scoffs and looks at her sister to confirm it. “She does.”

Anya nods, “Yes, she does.”

“I don't.”

“You do.”

“You do.”

“I don't.” Lexa rolls her eyes at the duo.

“Lexa, can I buy you a drink?” The blonde seems hopeful and persistent even after she has shown ‘no interest’.

“No.”

The blonde finally cracks and huffs. “You say no a lot, don't you?”

“No.” Lexa has the urge to giggle but she refrains at the last minute but can’t fight the simple smile that falls on her lips.

“Oh, boy. Permission to approach the bench?”

“Seriously?” Lexa rolls her eyes

“Just, come on, let me deliver my closing argument.”

“Sure. Proceed.”

The blue eyed woman picks up a nearby chair and sits down at their table.

“Lexa, we live in a physical world, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you're going to age, right?”

“Mmhm, you are too.”

“Well yes, but listen you're never gonna regret going home with that woman from the bar that one time that satisfied you multiple times. But I can't guarantee that you won't not regret it.”

“That was a double negative.” Lexa points out

The blonde huffs and rolls her eyes. “You're a double negative.” But she persists nonetheless. “So now I'm going to ask if I can buy you another drink. If you say yes, we'll have one more cocktail each -- just enough to start losing inhibitions, not enough to get sloppy, after all I promise to satisfy you.”

“Multiple times,“ Anya buts in and Lexa glares once again at her inappropriate sister.

“That's right. So, here we go, Lexa, can I buy you a drink?”

Lexa and Anya share a look. “What do you expect me to say to that?

“Margarita, rocks, salt.”

“Wow.” Lexa has had enough. She found the blonde charming, sure, but a little bit aggressive. She found her breathtakingly beautiful but she’s not a cheater and she doesn’t want to give her sister the satisfaction nor the blonde.

She grabs her coat and Anya's hand. “It's time to go home.” Anya doesn't move.

The bombshell still seated at their table pouts but remains in her seat. “Really? That's forward of you, but okay. I'll do it. So should I get my car or yours? Should I pull the car around? You been drinking? I'll drive.” The blonde teases but Lexa is half way out of the bar.

“She’s going to come around.” Anya says to the blonde and the blonde shakes her head and shrugs. “I hope so.”

“Just wait and see.”

“Anya!”

“Coming.” She calls back before following behind her sister.

* * *

She's sitting at a table with Anya and a group of really boring lawyers in power suits. They been in the bar for the last couple of hours and honestly Lexa can’t fight off the yawn for the nth time. Anya came in the last 30 minutes of it but she already looks bored and Lexa knows she’s going to bail any second now. There are small gifts in front of her , and her on and off again girlfriend Costia is holding her hand on the table.

There’s not a lot of people in the bar left, just five or six groups of friends here and there and then there’s the blonde who is talking intimately to one guy who practically seems putty in her hands. It’s pathetic really but it’s even more pathetic for Lexa to keep on glancing their way and wishing she agreed to the blonde’s proposal the first time, and the second and-

Anya is the first to stand.

“Well, Costia, thank you for inviting me to Lexa's ‘study hard’ party. The conversation has been riveting, really. Like stepping back in time.” She mocks but it seems that Costia didn’t catch the sarcastic tone. “But before I go, a toast.” She holds up her glass. “Little sis, go into your hole and study your cute little ass off for that Bar exam. We'll see you when you emerge.”

“I hope she does well.” Costia being Costia exclaims. Not so much a vote of confidence but at least she did this for her.

Anya chugs her drink, turns to Lexa and before she can ask, Lexa is already standing and pushing her towards the exit. “I'll walk you out.”

“Hey, Anya,” Costia stops them with her hand on Anya’s arm which Anya looks down at before looking up at Costia. “When Lexa passes, we're going to have another little celebration, right here. Hope you can make it. It's going to be a special night.”

Anya looks at her little sister for some context but she sees her wide eyed and unknowledgeable. “Just give me a heads-up so I can get really drunk before-hand, okay?”

Lexa leads Anya out of the bar but Lexa stops them midway and away from prying ears. “Did you hear that? `It's going to be a special night.' You think she's going to propose?” She asks wide eyed.

“With her lame friends, and in a high end bar? Oh God, I hope not.” Anya refrains from saying something else, Lexa can tell when she looks at her with pity in her eyes. “Wait why? Do you really want her to?”

Lexa shrugs. “She's nice.”

“Really? I think you can do better than ‘nice’ sis.” She knows she is saying with her outmost true intentions but it hurts her that her sister doesn’t actually like Costia. Well, she doesn’t like Costia anymore either, but that's beside the point. She would've expected more from her sister.

“Lexa, look at you. Look at you! If you end up with Costia, what am I gonna end up with?” Anya really looks scared and it should've been funny but Lexa is not in the mood. 

“Shut up. Come on.”

“That shit's depressing.”

Lexa finally laughs and swats her arm slightly. “Always so dramatic. Take care, Anya.”

Anya is not one to show physical affection but she does it in her own way when she pats her arm. “Call me if you need anything and good luck on the test.” Lexa grabs the hand on her arm and squeezes it in thanks. “Thank you for coming. I’ll call you when I get the results.”

“You better.” Anya kisses her goodbye, and steps into her motorcycle.

Lexa goes back and looks at her table from afar, everyone is typing on their phones. She sighs, heads back to rejoin them but a figure intercepts her. “Hey good luck in the test.” The blonde says and extends a glass of whiskey but Lexa doesn’t take it.

Just eyes her carefully. “Uh thanks.”

“Are you not going to take the drink?” The blonde pouts.

“My mother taught me not to take drinks from strangers.” Lexa shrugs. She likes to make the blonde work. The blue eyed woman nods but the smirk on her face is infuriating. “But we’re not strangers, we’re on first name basis already.”

“Ok fine just because it’s a good luck drink I presume.” At Clarke’s nod she takes the drink and downs it in one go, making faces along the way which makes the bombshell laugh at her.

“I promise it’s a no strings attached thing this time.” The blonde traces her hand and arm slowly and gives her best grin. Lexa swallows and shivers under her touch. “You always flirt with other people when you are on a date with someone else?”

“He doesn’t mind, he just wants to take me home, and he’s already doing that so...Why not?” 

“Figures,” Lexa mumbles and looks away. She looks back one second to see the expression on Clarke’s face and she looks confused.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, that’s why I didn’t take your offer the first time.” She doesn’t look back when she walks away but she should have.

* * *

Lexa feels like she’s been here before... the same group of boring lawyers at the same table, at the same bar. It’s becoming a routine and she doesn’t like that.

She hates routines.

She abhors having a same pace life.

She wants to live not to survive. 

Anya and Lexa chat off to the side and there’s a cake on the table that says "CONGRATS LEXA!"

Suddenly Costia stands on a chair and the table goes quiet. “Excuse me, everyone. Now, if we could get our guest of honor over here. I forget what she looks like, anyone remember?” There are polite laughs all around and Anya gags herself with her finger, looks at her sister. Lexa takes a deep breath, downs her drink, and walks over to Costia.

Is this it? Is this the moment that will change her life?

“I'm so proud of you even though I had my doubts, of course...” There’s more cheesy laughter and even though it sounds condescending Lexa powers through it and waits for it to finish it. “Now I did tell you that it'd be a special night when you passed the bar. And I'm a lawyer so you know I never lie.” And again there’s more heckling from their group of friends. Anya desperately orders another drink, barely able to take it and Lexa wishes she had another drink in her hands.

“So, Lexa, I'd like to formally ask you, in front of all our family, friends and colleagues…” Lexa waits, frozen. “If you'd like to become a permanent lawyer at the firm of Black and Mills?”

There’s cheers and not only from their table but the closest ones as well. Lexa steps back, breathless and doesn’t say anything and Costia reacts. “You don't have a better offer already, do you?

“No, that's great. I just-“ Lexa is still speechless but she’s not going to be in a couple of seconds when she sees Anya giving her a thumbs up, letting her know that she supports her no matter what. “I'm sorry, I thought you were about to propose.”

The room goes quiet, trying to hear and Costia looks wide eyed at her. The redhead takes her arm and pulls her to the side. “What?”

“No, I just, it's fine. I'm sorry, I just got thrown is all.” She didn’t expect that to be honest. But she should’ve seen it coming. “Oh Lexa, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that we were there.”

“No, no, it's fine.”

“It's not even a possibility, maybe down the road, like when were are actually together. I think I just need a little more time, like five years because I'm still figuring out how I feel about us, you know right now and especially long term.”

“So you’re saying you still don’t know where we stand right now?” It’s unbelievable.

Ok, so not that unbelievable.

What’s worse is that she should’ve seen it coming.

“Yes, I mean we’re friends right? Who occasionally have sex.”

“Wait you're figuring out how you feel about us, like right now?” Lexa laughs.

Once. Then twice. Loudly.

Everyone's now watching.

“Babe?”

She's really laughing now. ”You know what the best part is, I would have said yes! To YOU! And I didn't even want you to propose! Just now, I swear to God, I was hoping you wouldn't propose. And I still would have said YES! That's how pathetic I am!” She snags someone else's drink from the table, downs it in one go. She waits for it to burn her throat and when it does she takes another one from the table. “Is this gin?

“Yes.”

“There's, like, no water in that.” One of Costia’s friends says and she still downs it as fast as she can. She needs to drown her rage at herself and her anger at Costia for wasting so much of her time.

“Great. Ahhh, I hate gin.” She gasps as she grabs Costia's cheeks. “I will consider your job offer, thank you so much, Costia.”

Hysterically laughing, she walks away. As she passes, Anya sticks out her hand and they slap a five.

She knows what she wants to do now. Fortunately, she doesn’t have to go that far to find who she’s looking for.

At the other side of the room the blonde stands with her back to her. She’s talking to a group of beautiful women, women maybe more suited for the blonde but Lexa doesn’t care. She’s grateful that she didn’t witness the most embarrassing moment of her life.

“Hey you!” Lexa yells towards Clarke, who then turns and for the first time, Clarke looks like a deer in headlights. Lexa takes the last steps towards her, her intentions evident and she tries to give the blonde a chance if she doesn’t want her but when she sees her literally beckoning her with her eyes and smile, Lexa grabs her cheeks and kisses her.

At first it’s just the press of her lips against plump ones but then it turns into a long, deep, almost angry kiss. Just as the blonde tries to kiss her back Lexa pulls back.

“Do you still think I'm attractive?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still want to take me home?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think you can do no strings attached with me?”

“No.”

”Then let's go.” Lexa smiles and takes her hand.

She leads her out of the bar, ignoring woops and laughter notably from her sister Anya and the angry shouts of Costia and her friends.

* * *

The blonde’s apartment it's exactly what she'd expected, an elegant bachelor-pad. Modern furniture. Sleek. Everything just right. The blue eyed girl puts an album on her record player and starts mixing her drinks, while Lexa admires the view.

“This place looks like something out of a magazine.” She's sure she has seen it somewhere. 

“Do you like it?”

“Very much.”

“I thought you would.”

”Drink?” Clarke offers the mouthwatering cocktail she just made.  

“Yes, please.” Lexa downs hers and then grabs Clarke’s drink and downs it as well, ignoring the amusement on the blue eyed woman's face.

“So is this how it normally works?”

Clarke stands there still with the empty glasses on her hands. ”What?”

“How you woo a woman? You take them back to your granite-countered bachelor pad, put on the perfect song, and make them a drink?” The blonde nods shyly and it’s such a different contrast to how she acted before. Not that she knows her much but still she expects her to be the aggressor and instead she looks like she’s afraid to be what Lexa needs.

“Yes. That's how it normally works.”

“And then you sleep with them?”

“Yes.”

“So that's what happens next? We sleep together?”

The blonde chuckles and nervously fidget in her spot. “At some point, yes, I was under the impression that was your plan.”

Lexa takes a deep breath and admits. “I'm very nervous.”

”I'm getting that.” The blonde laughs and Lexa blushes a deeper shade than before. ”I know at the bar I seemed confident, but I was more just angry at my friends and trying to be dramatic.”

Clarke laughs, she actually laughs. “You're adorable.”

Lexa snaps, already tipsy. “No! Not adorable! Sexy! R-rated sexy! Because I know what happens next in the PG-13 version of tonight. I get really drunk, and I pass out, and you cover me with a blanket, and kiss my forehead, and nothing happens but that's not why I'm here!"

“No?”

“I'm here to bang the hot girl from the bar who hit on me.”

“Clarke.” The blonde supplies with a finger pointing towards herself.

“Clarke.” Lexa repeats the name.

Clarke looks amused as she points out that people don't say `bang' anymore.

“I do. We're going to bang. I'm finally going to do something exciting and dangerous and Anya can suck it!” Lexa shakes her hands out, pumping herself up. “Okay, okay, this is happening. Take off your shirt off.”

Clarke frowns but doesn’t seem put out by it, yet. “What?”

“I need to stop thinking. Take off your shirt.” Clarke shrugs, stands, unbuttons her shirt and takes it off. She is fit and she has big boobs.

And Lexa is so gay.

“Holy crap.” Seriously? She’s perfect and Lexa can’t take it. She takes a couple of steps forward and she’s palming her boobs. Clarke doesn’t flinch only suppresses a laugh and lets her touch. “It's like you're photo-shopped.”

“That's a nice way to say that they look natural, but thank god they’re mine. Now take off yours.” Clarke takes her shirt in her hand but Lexa takes a step back.

“No way! Not with all that happening...” She motions casually at the blonde woman. Clarke seems to understand and plunks down on the sofa. She seems to have a lot patience and it’s not what Lexa expected her to have. She thought Clarke was going to be the aggressor and Lexa would’ve given her everything she wanted but she is so patient.

“Okay, so then what do we do? What happens now? Like, logistically. What's your move?” Lexa fires off question after question.

Clarke frowns at that. “What do you mean, what's my move?”

“What's your move? Your big move.”

“I’ve got lots of moves.”

“What's your big move?”

“I'm not telling.”

“Tell me your move.”

“You're not ready for the big move.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You can't handle the big move.” Clarke yells but it doesn’t deter her from pestering her.

“Tell me your big move.” She gives her those big green eyes that she knows people can’t resist, or so people have told her.

Clarke seems to be defeated when her shoulders sag. “I can give a great lap dance.”

“A lap dance?” Lexa gulps. An image already forming in her head and she doesn’t know if she could handle it.

She can and she will. “How?”

Clarke looks back at her and then at her forgotten shirt on the floor. “Can I put back on my shirt?”

“No. To which song?”

Clarke grabs the shirt anyway. “To whatever song you want.”

Lexa doesn’t protest when Clarke puts the white blouse on but doesn’t button up.  “Okay. So then what?”

“So I do the big move and everyone always wants to have sex with me.” Clarke says offhandedly and picks up the player’s remote control to change the music.

“That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.”

“I agree. But it works every time.” Clarke shrugs but her smug grin is back and Lexa hates it. “That would not work on me.”

* * *

There is a steady and slow beat pulsing from the stereo in the living room. “Oh, God, this is ridiculous. I don't wanna do it.” Lexa is sitting at the edge of a single seat, her hands gripping the armchair and her eyes trained in the moving figure in front of her. Clarke is still wearing the white slim chiffon blouse, but she’s not wearing pants anymore just a red lace thong and the matching bra.  “This is beyond ridiculous.”

“Just relax.”

“No.”

“Come on. Just enjoy.”

“Thank God I'm drunk.“

Clarke begins to swing her hips to the beat, caressing her hands down her sides then up again. Lexa follows the trail of Clarke’s hand all over her body like an eagle. Clarke tosses her hair seductively from side to side as she moves closer to her seat. Her fingers play with the top of her bra and with the lapels of her blouse, tugging and tugging but never really teasing it to take it off and she never stills her hips from the beat.

Lexa is distracted from the hands on Clarke's neck by the hips that bewitch her. Lexa doesn’t realizes she’s practically moving until Clarke pushes her back down onto the couch with a soft hand on her chest. “Is it working yet?” Clarke has the audacity to ask.

Of course is working.

Lexa doesn’t want anything but to touch her and to feel how her hips move underneath her hands and lips.

Clarke pulls the shirt open then and slides it off her shoulders, tossing it at Lexa who catches it with a gulp. The sight never gets old. Even if she had seen it moment ago, it still takes her breath away. Lexa crosses her legs, watching the blonde’s movements through hooded eyes. Clarke moves a little closer and places a hand on Lexa’s knee, pushing it off her other leg as she straddles her lap.

Clarke reaches behind her own back and unclasps her bra and lets the straps sag on her shoulders. Clarke rhythmically shimmies out of the garment and encourages Lexa to remove it for her completely.

Lexa takes the lace fabric between her teeth, in a slow motion, raking her nails across the blonde’s stomach. She moves closer, their lips brushing against each other, until Clarke pulls back suddenly and with that terrible but effective smirk she stands up and restarts the movement in her hips.

Clarke turns around and Lexa swears that she’s trying to kill her. Clarke moves her hips and then she looks back and she gives her the best cocky over the shoulder look and Lexa is a goner. Clarke takes a couple of steps back and her ample ass is just an arm’s reach and Lexa takes her hips and pulls her to her.

Clarke still grinds into her and Lexa lets out a single groan. “So do you prefer to do it here or in the bedroom?” Lexa hears herself ask but she definitely doesn’t recognize her own voice.

Clarke chuckles and stands up again but doesn’t go too far.  “In the bedroom is preferable.”

Lexa stands, a girl on a mission. “Good. Let's go there.”

* * *

Lexa lies on her back in the dim light. Clarke is on top of her, with her panties on but shirtless and braless. Lexa is in her panties and her bra. She thanks herself for picking up a matching set of underwear and not just a matching set but her favorite one. 

Clarke is kissing her neck and sucking softly and Lexa feels so comfortable beneath the blonde. Must be the bed and the pillows and she can’t help but mention it. “This pillow is amazing. It forms perfectly to the shape of my head.”

Clarke stops her ministrations on her neck and looks up. “I'm glad you like it.” She gives her a sweet and genuine smile Lexa can tell. Even if she has known her for maybe 8 hours total she already knows her telltales.

They resume kissing.

Her lip is trapped between Clarke’s teeth. But it’s after a beat, she pulls back again. “Wait, are these those foam pillows from Brookstone?” Is not that she doesn’t want to continue kissing Clarke, because she has enjoyed it so far, but she has to know if the woman from the bar, the woman she thought as a total sex machine has something she thought no one would buy.

The silence that follows is enough and Lexa laughs at how Clarke groans and hangs her head between her shoulders. “They are, aren't they!? I always wondered who actually buys them!” There’s a mumble in her neck and she doesn’t even squirm just continues laughing. “You do! The hot girl from the bar buys them! Of course!”

“Clarke…” She reminds her.

“Mmhm, I know your name is Clarke.” She shakes her head, amazed. Clarke raises her eyebrows unexpectedly and Lexa shakes her head as she gathers herself. “Sorry, let's proceed.”

Clarke smiles, goes to kiss her but something pulls Lexa back again. “You don't have one of those ridiculous massage chairs, do you?”

“No.” Clarke lies. Lexa knows she’s lying because she’s hiding again in her neck.  “Oh. My. God! You totally do!”

“I do.”

She starts laughing hysterically, it's infectious and soon Clarke is chuckling but not laughing yet. “How much did it cost?”

“Five thousand doll—“

That doubles her over in hysterics. Clarke starts laughing, like really laughing. “Ask me how many times I've used it.”

“How many times have you used it?”

“Twice.” Clarke groans while she falls down to Lexa’s side instead of being on top of her.

“That's $2500 a massage.” Lexa says alarmed but the amusement doesn’t vanish. She turns to her side and traces Clarke’s sides with her hands.

“Where is it?”

“It's in the garage.”

“Can I sit in the massage chair?”

*****

They’re waiting for the chair to light up. Clarke has put her blouse back on, but is still without a bra, while Lexa just only covers herself with a thousand dollar soft blanket that Clarke bought the other day by impulse. When the chair comes to life it only buzzes and Lexa just feels like someone is shaking it instead of feeling soft and soothing movements underneath her.

Clarke fiddles with the control and pushes some buttons but she doesn’t feel the change.

“I hate it.”

Clarke laughs again and it makes Lexa feel like she wants to hear it for the rest of her life.

* * *

They’re back in the bed, but this time they just dropped all pretenses that they wanted to ‘bang’, in Lexa’s words.

Lexa’s head rested on a soft tummy while soft hands played with her hair. “The Home Shopping Network. I'm an addict. I'm just the worst.” Clarke reveals and it and makes her grin. Who would’ve thought that Clarke would be that type of woman. The more that she knows, the more she feels like she wouldn’t mind spending all her life with this PG-13 version.

“Do you have a Slap Chop?”

“Yes.”

“The knife that cuts through the penny?”

“Yes.”

“How about a turntable?”

“Who do you think I am? Of course I have it. It’s a Crosley Cruiser Deluxe 3-Speed Portable Retro.”

It doesn’t stop. The smile on her face is permanent and her cheeks hurt. “What else do you have?”

“Coin Bears.”

“Coin Bears? You don't have Coin Bears.”

“I have a whole set from each state.”

“You have 50 Coin Bears?”

“They have a coin in their foot.”

“Can I see them?”

*****

They have their own shelf inside of the walk in closet. The shelves are stocked with little and colorful Coin Bears. Lexa counts more than 50 and that’s when Clarke tells her that she has more than just the United States.

“What’s your favorite?”

“The New York one.  Obviously.” Clarke says with a teasing tone and Lexa rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”

She picks the bear from the center and squeezes it in her hand. She pulls it forward for the bear to give Clarke a kiss but Clarke just rolls her eyes and avoids it with her hand.

“That’s cute.”

“No, you’re cute.”

“I’m not cute Clarke, I’m sexy.” Lexa says behind the bear as if the bear was the one talking.

“Let’s go back sexy.”

* * *

Now it’s Clarke who rests her head on Lexa’s legs while she on her side and her head is supported by her flexed arm and hand. They both have a glass of scotch on their hands but the liquid remains untouched.

“You stay up on nights because you sleep all morning?”

“I am wildly unhappy in the mornings, so you shouldn’t see me in the morning.”

“It’s technically morning and you’re not unhappy.”

“That’s because it’s dark and I still consider it night.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

"Ridiculous is the motorized window shades that I have in the whole house." 

"You do not." 

"Want to check it?" 

*****

Lexa stands in the living room, with her hands clapping three times per Clarke's request. The automatic blinds cover the whole living room and part of the kitchen.

They're encase on total darkness before she has an idea and she carries through with it. "Alexa, turn on the fireplace." Clarke just groans when there's a soft click and the fireplace turns on, encasing the whole living room into a soft light.

"Alexa, play jazz." 

"Alexa, go away."

* * *

They’re both facing each other cross-legged; their hands nurse a chocolate beverage which is adorned by little marshmallows.

“It was Black Friday and it was my worst nightmare.” Clarke begins telling her worst experience. Lexa by now it’s coping with the idea that she’s going to be surprised left and right from what Clarke has to say or how she thinks or how she has lived for so long with her habits. Some are questionable, like her choice in partners each week, and some of them are so unexpectedly expected now that she feels like she's truly the only one who knows her, like she just knows about her obsession with ‘buy one get one for free’ deals. 

“So I had a bidding war with this guy. I still remember his name because it haunts me. He’s upping and upping up his price and I do the same up to the clerk who’s supervising the merchandise. Now it seems silly to up the price when it was on sale and it was black Friday you know but it was the principle of owning the best lawn mower ever. So it stops when he tells me this tragic backstory about how his dog died and he always loved this lawn mower and that he had to bury his dog with it and now he had to have it to remember him by and I’m not a monster so I let him have it and that’s when he just maniacally laughs and just sticks out his tongue like a five year old and pays for my lawn mower without breaking eye contact with me.”

“Oh my god.” Lexa gasps and Clarke must think she’s just being sympathetic to her cause. “What was his name?”

“Gustus Woods.”

“Oh my god!”

“What?”

“Ask me my last name.”

“What’s your-“

“My dad just cocked block me.”

“Oh my god.”

*****

Lexa is kneeling behind a pouty Clarke who is actively giving her a time out.

Lexa’s hands are one Clarke’s waist and she kisses the back of her neck as an apology. Which Clarke seems to melt and accept as she rests her entire body against Lexa’s.

“If it makes you feel better Fish does love our new lawn mower.”

They make it through. Lexa’s soft apology kisses on Clarke’s body are enough for the blonde to forgive her, just barely.

* * *

Lexa is straddling the blue eyed woman while Clarke’s hands move up and down her firm thighs. There’s nothing sexual behind her movements, but rather soft comforting touches as an apology too. “Were you smart in school?”

“All the time. You’re seeing a girl with a perfect score on every single test you could imagine. I even won a spelling bee and my dad cried at the spelling bee.”

Clarke pouts when she mentions her dad. Maybe the wound is still fresh but she did mention something embarrassing of him for Clarke to have ammunition to when she meets him.

If it comes down to that.

Right now, it’s a matter of when.

“That's nice and total ammo.” Lexa smiles at Clarke’s blush.  “What word did you win on?”

“It was so stupid.”

“Tell me.”

“Keep in mind that they would give me the word and then the meaning and I had to first spell it out then use it in a sentence and explain it.”

“Ok.”

“The word was effervescent, which they said it meant bubbling, vivacious or gay.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, so spelled and then I said that I was effervescent.”

“A judge made the comment that I indeed was vivacious but I literally said, no Martha I’m not vivacious I’m gay and the whole room just went silent. And you know Anya being Anya was the first one to laugh and scream at the top of her lungs that she loved me.”

“Priceless.”

* * *

Their stomachs were full of greasy pizza and the remnants of alcohol. Standing in the kitchen with fluffy fuzzy socks and in their underwear, laughing at the blonde’s insistence that it was perfectly understandable that she had kitchen utensils that she didn’t know their uses for was simply perfect for a 3am in the morning conversation.

“Do you have that mold that makes cakes?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Just one or two.”

“Can you show me?”

She had 10

* * *

Lexa can tell that this is different for Clarke as it is for her as well.

She likes her and she could see by how Clarke’s blue eyes close when she laughs. She does it too and to see it reflected at her -when she knows that is when her laugh is genuine- is out of this world. She could see it in the way that Clarke touches her body without thinking twice, whether that is just a hand on her hip, two hands on her hair, one finger on her calf, another on her back, just touching. The way that her eyes roam all over her body but not in a creepy way but more like an awed way. The way that even if there is hair in her face she tells her she’s beautiful. Or the way she laughs at her bad jokes, or how she’s completely amazed and interested in her stories.

And then Clarke says the most unexpected thing, and that’s when she knows it’s real. “Do me a favor. Ask me a question about myself.”

“What? No! I don't want to know anything about you.” Lexa jokes and Clarke just pouts. Lexa hopes Clarke knows that she's just messing with her.

“C'mon, one question.”

“Okay, fine, but then we bang.”

”Absolutely.” Clarke nods quickly, her smile doesn’t falter. “Now, come on, I'll answer anything. You can ask me about my job, or past-“

“What's your mom like?”

The question takes her by surprise she can tell by how Clarke opens and closes her mouth. She hesitates, then, “Icy... I guess? Not cruel, but cold. Very cold. We don’t see each other eye to eye anymore. We only talk when it’s necessary and on holidays.”

“Do you miss her?” There’s a tiny nod that breaks her heart. She pulls her into her arms and Clarke’s head rests comfortably in her shoulder. “And your father?” Those are two separate questions and they both know it but they don’t say anything about it.

Lexa only waits.

“He died, a long time ago. Left us a lot of money, which is how I have...” She motions at her pillow and then the room in general. “Stuff like this.”

“And time for stuff like that?” Lexa points to the forgotten treadmill in the corner of the room. They both smile and Clarke continues. “My dad was the opposite of my mom, actually.”

“Would you tell me more about him?”

Clarke tells her everything.

* * *

 

It’s nearing 5 in the morning but they continue talking about their hopes and dreams, about their failures and their history, until finally: it's Clarke who passes out and it's Lexa who covers her with the expensive blanket and kisses her on the forehead, just as she feared so PG-13.

*****

Clarke wakes up sometime near 11 in the morning and Lexa still asleep in her bed. And now it’s Clarke who stares at her lovingly. She tucks Lexa under the expensive blanket, kisses her forehead, and finally admits it.

She can do PG-13 if it is with Lexa. 

She can live instead of survive.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just want to say thank you for all the love given this year.  
> Hope the next one is better for all of you too.  
> 


End file.
